Ok, it's a new year, a new start.
I have decided that this year I am going to do battle. With food, my mind and my health.
I have realised over the last year or so that I have an addiction... food! You may laugh and say that's not a real addiction, but it is. It controls my life the way that alcohol or drugs or nicotine do for others. I have struggled with it for years, but now I am finally going to do something about it. It's time to get serious about my health, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I have discovered a website called www.proverbs31.org where they not only have a fantastic blog, but they go through books together and study the bible and work out how we can be the best 'Jesus girl' that we can be. Sorry guys, this is just a girl thing, but there is a site for you too... www.fatherswhodarewin.com
This January, proverbs 31, are going through a book called Made to Crave. I read the introduction online and thought, wow, this is me! The tag line is 'satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food'. This is going to be a difficult journey for me, but I am going to do it.
Week one has already been interesting. I have already been challenged and it's only day 3. The first thing I was challenged with is that I need to actually believe the word of God. The bible says 'no temptation has seized you, except what is common to man and God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bare. And when you are tempted he will provide a way out so that you may stand up under it.'' I have always just sort of glossed over it. But Eve, who was the first person tempted, was tempted with food! This verse suddenly means so much more. Food cravings are important to God, he does want to help. They are common to man, even Jesus was tempted with food, so God knows its an issue and he cares about it. God is faithful! He has provided a way out! I can resist! I just need to stand up under this verse and use God's strength to walk away! I CAN do it!
Secondly, there are more types of cravings in my life than I thought. I had thought that food was my only issue. Actually it's not. I totally crave the love and acceptance of the people around me. Especially my in-laws I was badly bullied in high school (for my weight!) and have scars that run deep from it. All I want is to be loved and accepted for being me. But actually I DON'T NEED it, I want it. God's love and acceptance is all I NEED. I need to turn to him to fill it, not them. I need to totally change the way that I think and therefore the way that I act. This is going to be a raging battle within me. Mind verses heart, heart verses mind. It's not a simple fix, it's going to be a battle that I struggle with daily, as is food, but it's a battle that I want to take on and I want to win!
So this is me. Happy New year!